She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize