Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
