is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
