I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
