all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
