I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
