oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Are we still banned from the library?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
