Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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