turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
