I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
