he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
