am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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