He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
