I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Farmville is her only friend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
