He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
