God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
