As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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