Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
