as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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