How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So much rum. So many feels.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
