well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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