they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
