I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
