but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
