are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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