I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
