what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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