turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
