You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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