What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
