there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
