I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize