The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
