I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
