Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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