imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
