I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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