90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
