you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
