I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
