he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
