Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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