hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
