Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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