Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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