i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
