i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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