im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
