I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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