You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
