Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
