I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize