i just wanna soil my oats bro
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
