i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
