He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am available for nakedness
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize