it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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