Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
