I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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