she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
