The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
