I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
