Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
