So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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