But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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