you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
