There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
