My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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