Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
