come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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