is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
